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Becoming a mother means learning to cope with a whole new set of life's contradictions.

Parenting can alternate between bringing you ultimate joy and triggering mind numbing depression. The richness of your experiences deepens; and your awareness of all things in the world, both good and bad, is much keener. It should come as no surprise, then, that this new journey requires a strong crew to help navigate the waters. In today's world, though, finding those essential support people can be difficult. It sometimes means that you must be creative in order to craft for yourself the ideal support group.

Join an online community
Perhaps the easiest way to find like-minded parents is to join an established online community. There are many websites that cater to mothers looking to form a support network, and they have the benefit of providing specialized services to a wide range of people. You can join a group that caters to mothers who are young, single, working, divorced, self-employed, or any other distinction for that matter. With so many sites, you're sure to find a group that works for you.

Start a book club
Sometimes the best support comes from an activity unrelated to parenting. Gathering a group of women together with similar interests is bound to provide food for the soul. Engaging in intellectual discussions about literary characters and themes can sometimes help you see your own situation in a clearer light. It also may give you the answers you seek without having to hash through the problems you're having with your child's latest behavioral issue or your inattentive spouse or your demanding boss. Gathering a book club together is easy-simply put up flyers at local book stores and libraries. You can meet at the local coffee shop and have your book store recommend titles.

Post a flyer in your neighborhood
For many of us who are at work all day, we may not have many opportunities to connect with our neighbors. That doesn't mean that memorable friendships can't be formed; it just takes a bit more effort. Host an open house in the next few weeks, and just like a door to door salesman, you can slip an invitation into mailboxes all along several streets in your neighborhood. By reaching out to your community in this way, you'll likely discover parents with similar interests, potential babysitters, and perhaps a new friend for your child.

Ask for class lists
Your child's daycare or school is a rich source of information about a potential support network. They can provide you with a contact list of parents who have children the same age as yours, and you've already got a lot in common with these parents. You are likely going through the same trials and tribulations regarding the stages of child development, and you have a common set of experiences relating to the classroom. You may be able to set up play dates, carpooling, or enrichment activities for your kids. It's also likely that you'll be able to lend a compassionate ear to one another should problems arise.

Hang out at the playground and library
If you're looking to develop friendships with other parents, then there is no better place to be than where children play. No matter how busy a family gets, you can be sure that playground visits are a highlight of the week for those with small children; and the library is a must for the younger set as well as school age kids who need to do homework. In both cases, the adults who accompany their children will be eager to connect with another adult. It's usually easy to strike up a conversation since there is always so much happening in these settings, just don't forget to swap names and phone numbers if you feel you've made a good connection. Keep a set of business cards or a small notebook for this type of occasion, so you'll never miss an opportunity to follow up with a new friend.

Friends are an essential part of the village that is oft referred to as the essential ingredient for raising a child. As a parent, there are many demands placed on your time and energy. It only makes sense to keep on the lookout for those people who will help shore you up when you need it and who will provide the companionship and insights you need to be the best parent you can be. It is all too easy for parents to feel isolated and unsupported, but if you make an effort to reach out to others, you'll be able to create your own village.

About the Author
Katie Basson is a parent, teacher, and creator of The BITs Kit Better Behavior Kit for Kids™. Katie teaches seminars on behavior modification techniques, and assists parents through challenging behavioral and educational issues. She serves on the Board of Directors of the YWCA and is an educational advisor to Zoesis, Inc., a children's software company. Katie's expert advice has been sought for articles in The Boston Globe and Parents Magazine. Sign up for her biweekly Parenting Solutions newsletter at www.bitskit.com .

Visual Tracking. Provide your baby with bright, colorful objects to watch. Finger puppets or a brightly colored sock placed on your hand can be used to gain and keep the baby's attention. Then slowly move your hand up and down, in circles, and to the right and left. Blow bubbles for the baby to watch. When the baby's old enough, encourage her to reach for the bubbles ? or any other object of desire you place above her.

Body Awareness. Body awareness is essential for babies. Sing and demonstrate "Where Is Thumbkin?" Play games like "This Little Piggy" with both toes and fingers. Touch her nose, exclaiming, "I've got your nose!" Then proceed to play the game with such other body parts as toes, ears, fingers, and legs. When the baby's developmentally ready, ask her to find your nose, ears, mouth, etc.

Individuation. There's nothing like the game of Peek-a-Boo to help the child begin to see himself as a separate individual. It also makes babies laugh! Once the baby is familiar with this game, you can move on to "Where's Mommy [Daddy; Nana; etc.]?" Begin by placing your hands over your face, just as you would with Peek-a-Boo. Later, hide your whole self behind a piece of furniture, asking, "Where's Mommy?" You then pop up, answering, "Here's Mommy!" Crossing the Midline. To encourage crossing the midline of the body, hand your baby desirable items in such a way that she has to reach across her body to retrieve them from you. Later, when the baby is crawling and creeping, place a brightly colored object or favorite toy on the floor, just out of reach, encouraging her to go get it. Then, as long as she seems to enjoy the game (she's laughing instead of fussing), keep moving it!

Eye-Hand Coordination. Any activity in which the baby is reaching for or batting an object promotes eye-hand coordination. Another option, appropriate for infants as young as three months, is to sew a bell or bells onto an elastic band that you can slip on your baby's wrists or ankles. Once on, gently shake the body part until the baby looks at it.

Also, when your baby is able to sit unassisted, make him comfortable on the floor, legs apart. Sit opposite him in a similar manner and roll a large, brightly colored ball toward him. Describe what you're doing, and encourage him to push it back toward you.

Manipulative Skills. To provide opportunities for kicking, place a stuffed animal or a small pillow by your baby's feet, close enough to touch, and encourage her to kick away. Give her plenty of soft objects to throw as well, retrieving them for her as long as she stays interested. Once she's walking, you can place an empty laundry basket on the floor and suggest she toss soft balls, rolled-up socks, or similar items into the basket.

Imitation. Babies are great at mimicking, and at about 10 months of age they have a greater understanding of what they're doing and really enjoy it. Play the Mirror Game with your baby while sitting and facing each other. Stick out your tongue, wiggle your fingers in your ears, wave your arms up and down, all while encouraging the baby to do likewise. When your baby is ready to figure out how the game is played, encourage him to lead, while you imitate.

Later, when your baby is mobile, Follow the Leader is a wonderful game to play. It will encourage imitation while also providing practice with walking.

About the Author
Rae Pica is a children's physical activity specialist and the author of Your Active Child: How to Boost Physical, Emotional, and Cognitive Development through Age-Appropriate Activity (McGraw-Hill, 2003). Rae speaks to parent and education groups throughout North America. Visit her and read more articles at
www.movingandlearning.com.