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Let's Celebrate
National Women's History Month!
by Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach

March is National Women's History Month and this year's theme is "Women Pioneering the Future".

According to the National Women's History Project, this includes both "pioneering women from US history, who led and won struggles for equality and civil rights, created and advanced educational and professional opportunities, and made great contributions to the arts, sciences, and humanistic causes, and innovative women of today who further these efforts and continue to expand the frontiers of possibility for generations to come."

Here are some ways to join the celebration:

1. Order the official poster: www.nwhp.org/ .

2. Encourage your City Council to make a proclamation. Here's a sample proclamation: http://www.nwhp.org/ .

4. Check out power contact websites listed here for working women, and add your own! www.womenworking2000.com/ .

5. Read up on this year's honorees: Rebecca Adamson, Native American advocate; Rachel Carson, Scientist and Environmentalist; Linda Chavez-Thompson, Labor Leader; Mae C. Jemison, Scientist, Educator, and Former Astronaut; Yuri Kochiyama, Civil Rights Advocate; Tania León, Composer and Conductor; Robin Roberts, Broadcast Journalist; Harilyn Rousso, Disability Rights Activist and Psychotherapist; Margaret Chase Smith, Congressional Representative and Senator; Wilma L. Vaught, Brigadier General, USAF, Retired; Rebecca Walker, Youth Organizer and Writer. Go here: www.nwhp.org/ .

6. Read about these great women's museums and the go visit one near you: National Cowgirl Museum and Hall of Fame, Ft. Worth, Tx.; National Museum of Women in the Arts, in Washington, DC; Women of the West Museum, in Denver, Colorado; International Women's Air and Space Museum, in Dayton, Ohio; U.S. Army Women's Museum, in Fort Lee, Virginia. Go here for links to their websites: www.infoplease.com/ .

7. See how you do on the Groundbreaking Women Quiz: www.infoplease.com/spot/quiz/ .

Sample question: Former Secretary of Labor Frances Perkins (1880-1965) was the first woman to be appointed to a presidential cabinet. Which leader did she serve under? (Franklin D. Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, or Calvin Coolidge?)

8. Find out what these women have in common: Sara Teasdale, Anne Sexton, Sylvia Plath, Harper Lee, Jhumpa Lahiri, Wendy Wasserstein ...

You guessed it - they're Pulitzer prize winners. For complete list, go here: www.factmonster.com/

9. And what women have won the Nobel Prize? Start with Madame Curie, two-time winner - in 1903 in physics, and in 1911, for chemistry. Then her daughter won the Nobel Prize for chemistry in 1935. Go here to learn about the women Nobel Prize winners from all over the world: www.factmonster.com/ipka/ .

10. Notable Women Ancestors is looking for you!

It's comprised of women's biographies and genealogy data of notable women in history and not-so-famous women submitted by actual living descendants. Get on it! www.rootsweb.com/~nwa .

11. Help your daughter make her own listmania of books she's read about women: www.amazon.com/

12. And how about some reading and book reviews? It's fun and education. You can start with "To Love This Life, quotations by Helen Keller: www.amazon.com/exec/ and your child can read and review "A Picture Book of Helen Keller":
www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ .

About the Author
Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, offers coaching and Internet courses to develop your emotional intelligence and improve every area of your life. www.susandunn.cc and sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine.

Ten Steps to Improved Self-Esteem

by Mark Sichel, LCSW

It's not vain to think well of yourself - it's called confidence. And let's face it, confident people are more attractive. There's an aura around a person with confidence that suggests glowing colors and bright sunshine on the rainiest day. Who wouldn't rather spend time with a relaxed and happy person than with that tense person glowering in the corner? People with high self-esteem look happier, healthier and more vibrant.

Gaining self-esteem is not as hard as you think, so why not start doing something about it right now? All steps, big and small, towards gaining self-esteem fall into two main categories: A) Avoid the negative and B) Accentuate the positive! Need more details? Just follow these 10 steps, and you'll find yourself feeling better about who you are in no time!

AVOID THE NEGATIVE:

Tell the critical voices of those friends and family shouting in your head to shut up!

Don't compare yourself to others. Why depress yourself by using a friend, acquaintance or movie star as a measuring stick that leaves you short? You don't have to beat yourself up because you're not as rich, famous or thin as what's her name. That's a recipe that can leave the most envied person in the world feeling totally miserable. Trust me, anyone -no matter how seemingly perfect - who is focused on how much more fabulous someone else must be, will not be happy! So try something different - look for ways to use the people you admire as your inspiration to help you towards your own goals. What habits does this person have that could work for you and help your own personality to shine? Emulate an exercise regimen, a work ethic or just smile more often!

Start saying no. Chances are "no" was one of the first words you ever said. At one time, it may even have been your favorite. USE IT! Don't say yes to things you don't want to do - especially when you feel you're being taken advantage of! Practice drawing your boundaries. Start with easy people, if necessary - like a good friend - before tackling your boss or your mother. And remember, if you can't say no, at least don't say yes - say maybe. Maybe works, it gives you a chance to think. You can always call and say no later!

Don't try to change others. If you're trying to change anyone, stop right now! That's exhausting - mainly because it doesn't work! All that trying and trying, the constant vigilance with lots of failure and maybe a little change, a little hope and then a lot of sliding back - I'm exhausted just writing about it! No one can change unless they want to - so stop working so hard! The sense of failure that results when trying to change someone never leads to feeling good about yourself. Be supportive if someone is going through a hard time - but remember, the work is theirs, not yours! The only person you can change is yourself. Accepting that isn't easy, but once you get to that point, the only change you'll be watching will be your self-esteem going through the roof!

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

Make a list of your achievements. If you think you don't have any, consider some things about yourself that you take for granted. Can you cook, read, ride a bicycle? Are you the organized one who keeps the family files, pays the bills, gets the kids to school? We all have achieved. It can be as simple as learning how to walk and talk, to learning how to program a VCR, to graduating from high school, to getting a job or to being a good friend. It's easy to forget all we have achieved in our lifetime. Remember that struggle of learning to swim, jump rope or drive and take the time to be proud of your achievements!

Make a list of your positive inner qualities. Another list - but then, you must like lists - you're reading this one! Lists are great, especially when they're lists about how wonderful you are! Are you nice? Thoughtful? Patient? Smart? Funny? Reliable? Caring? Go ahead, this is for you! You don't have to show anyone else and you certainly don't need to worry that anyone might think you think well of yourself! Keep your list handy and review it whenever you feel down. You're special - celebrate your unique qualities - appreciate yourself!

Exercise - the cure-all of the 90's! But really, it's true! It's hard to feel negative when all those endorphins get flowing! Plus, anytime you feel as though you are doing something positive for yourself; you strengthen your self-esteem. Not into exercise? Use the same principle! Do something positive for yourself! Encourage and enlighten your mind, spirit or body. Read a self-help book, try a 12-step meeting, take up yoga. Sign up for a class that interests you. It's hard to think badly of someone who is constantly expanding herself - even when that someone is you!

Seek out people who make you feel good. Remember - you get to choose your friends - so why not choose people who think you're great? Stop dismissing those compliments and please - stop arguing with people who think you're fabulous! Modesty is all well and good but saying thank you to a compliment doesn't turn you into an egomaniac! Also, examine your schedule - how much time do you spend with people who make you feel good? Find a way to make time for the special people in your life. Don't fall into the time trap of continually putting off the most important people in your life because you're too busy. Stay in touch - drop them an e-mail or leave a message to let them know you're thinking about them at those times when things truly are impossible. Make the people you love and the people who love you a priority every day!

Be your own best friend. You're great to all your friends - why not be great to yourself? When you're busy getting down on yourself, stop for a moment. Would you kick your best friend if she were having a bad day? Of course not! So what if you were your own friend? Think about it. Would you be kinder? More understanding and forgiving? Would you give yourself encouragement? Why not be that warm, wonderful, supportive person for yourself! Go ahead! Stop working against your own well-being and be good to yourself!

So take one step at a time and you'll be on your way! As your self-esteem soars, you'll find that you feel happier with yourself and the world around you. Chances are your health will improve. You'll have more time and energy for the things you love to do as well as the people you love. All of this is the natural result of possessing high self-esteem. Remember, with a little effort, anyone can have high self-esteem. It's not an inherited trait; it's a learned skill! Now that you have the tools to start you off, those negative thoughts don't stand a chance! Should they try creeping in, you can just whip out your positive inner quality list and remind yourself of how wonderful you really are!

About the Author:
(c) Mark Sichel is a psychotherapist, consultant, and speaker on a broad range of issues related to family, mental health, and interpersonal problems. He is the editor and principal author of the award winning self-help website, www.psybersquare.com For a more detailed guide to overcoming the panic brought on by dysfunctional family experiences, read Mark Sichel's new book, Healing From Family Rifts : Ten Steps to Finding Peace After Being Cut Off From a Family. For more information about this book visit the author's website: www.marksichel.com