December, 2004
Featured Article(s):
4 Quick And Easy Ways to Assert Yourself
by Peter Murphy













That is unless you can say No to these unreasonable people because very often to win respect from people you have to sometimes say No.

Here are 4 great ways to stand up for yourself and say No:


1 Soften The No

Instead of shouting No at the person and creating an uncomfortable encounter you can instead soften the No by postponing your help.

For example --

- No, I am busy right now but I can help you in 40 minutes

- No, I have other things to do at the moment

- Right now I do not have a free moment maybe later on

- I would love to help but not at this minute, try John

What you are doing is softening the No by saying not now rather than an outright No. This is a lot easier to do especially when dealing with people who intimidate you.


2 Negotiate

To deal with people who want your help but are slow to help you -- negotiate! When they want something from you, you have the power - use it!

Say you are happy to help on one condition -- that they help you immediately when you seek their help. They will usually agree because they have to! If they say No, again as above, postpone helping them if you can.

There are some people who view the world in terms of what is in it for them and the concerns of others are of secondary importance. With these people you are wasting your time talking about your needs.

For that reason you have to link your needs to their gains by negotiating - tell them they will get what they want IFyou get what you want.


3 Say No When You Do Not Care About The Outcome

When you are flexing this new found ability to say No for the first time use every opportunity to get some practice e.g.

- In a restaurant, say no to the first table you are offered

- say No to coffee when everyone else says Yes, have tea

- at the mall say yes to sales help but No to the product

What I mean is to say No when you are dealing with people whose approval is not that important to you. You will quickly learn through experience that it is not the end of the world if you say no and the other person is not pleased with you.


4 Say No To The Big Request And Yes To A Smaller One

Sometimes you are going to be asked to do more than your fair share. If you cannot avoid the job you may need to consider doing part of it.

A good way to handle these requests is to offer to do part of the job but not all of it. For example:

- I will clean 2 rooms if you do the other 3 rooms

- I can do 5 pages of the report if you give me the data

- If you start the project I will finish it

By standing up for yourself on small points you will gradually assert yourself more often on the big issues.

The main thing is to get started today on winning back control of your interactions with anyone who pushes you too far.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
No matter how wonderful you are sometimes other people will try to take advantage of your good nature. They will push you, get you to do more than your fair share and keep asking you to do even more.

And worst of all -- often your efforts will be taken for granted. Unless you can say No, the situation will not change in fact it may get even more difficult.
Contents   Auto   Beauty   Career   Child   Friendship   Home  
Health
     Maintenance   Money  Pet    Relationship   Self   Shopping
About   Advertise   Advisors   Contact   Friends   Future Issues   Press/Media   Writer's Guidelines  
7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People
By Michael Lee

WARNING!  If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage yourself in these 7 deadly habits that incompetent people do.

NUMBER 1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things.

Yup.  They see problems in every opportunity.

They complain that the sun is too hot.  They cursed the rain for ruining their plans for the day.  They blame the wind for ruining their hair.

They think that everyone is against them.  They see the problems but never the solutions.

Every little bit of difficulty is exaggerated to the point of tragedy.  They regard failures as catastrophes.  They become discouraged easily instead of learning from their mistakes.

They never seem to move forward because they're always afraid to come out of their comfort zones.

NUMBER 2 - They Act Before They Think.

They move based on instinst or impulse.  If they see something they like, they buy at once without any second thought.

Then they see something better.  They regret & curse for not able to take advantage of the bargain.

Then they spend & spend again until nothing's left.  They don't think about the future.  What they're after is the pleasure they will experience at present.

They don't think about the consequenses.  Those who engage in unsafe sex, criminality, and the like are included in this group.

NUMBER 3 - They Talk Much More Than They Listen

They want to be the star of the show.  So they always engage in talks that would make them heroes, even to the point of lying.

Oftentimes they are not aware that what they're saying is not sensible anymore.

When other people advise them, they close their ears because they're too proud to admit their mistakes.

In their mind they're always correct.  They reject suggestions because that will make them feel inferior.

NUMBER 4 - They Give Up Easily

Successful people treat failures as stepping stones to success.

Incompetent ones call it quits upon recognizing the first signs of failure.

At first, they may be excited to start an endeavor.  But then they lose interest fairly quickly, especially when they encounter errors.

Then they go & search for a new one.  Same story & same results. Incompetent people don't have the persistence to go on and fulfill their dreams.

NUMBER 5 - They Try to Bring Others Down To Their Level

Incompetent people envy other successful individuals.  Instead of working hard to be like them, these incompetent ones spread rumors and try every dirty trick to bring them down.

They could've asked these successful ones nicely.  But no, they're too proud.  They don't want to ask advise.  Moreover, they're too negative to accomplish anything.

NUMBER 6 - They Waste Their Time

They don't know what to do next.  They may just be contented on eating, getting drunk, watching TV, or worse, staring at the blank wall with no thoughts whatsoever to improve their lives.

It's perfectly fine to enjoy once in a while.  But time should be managed efficiently in order to succeed.  There should be a proper balance between work & pleasure.

NUMBER 7 - They Take the Easy Way Out

If there are two roads to choose from, incompetent people would choose the wider road with less rewards than the narrower road with much better rewards at the end.

They don't want any suffering or hardship.  They want a good life.

What these people don't know is that what you reap is what you sow.  Efforts & action will not go unnoticed.

If only they would be willing to sacrifice a little, they would be much better off.

Successful people make it through trials & error.  They never give up.  They are willing to do everything necessary to achieve what they aspire for in life.

Michael Lee is the author of "How To Be A Red Hot Persuasion Wizard...In 20 Days Or Less," an ebook designed to easily seduce others, fully improve your relationships, multiply your profits, win negotiations, and help you attain all the desired freedom and power you could ever dream of.  Go to  http://www.20daypersuasion.com and grab a sample chapter.
7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People
By Michael Lee
How To Criticize and Still Be Nice
by Michael Lee
Getting What You Want Most From Other People
by Peter Murphy
Contents  >  Friendship I  >  Friendship II