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5 Ways to 'Make' More Love in Your Marriage
by Mort Fertel

Life's daily grind can make you feel like the passion in your marriage is fading faster than Britney Spear's Vegas nuptials. But love is not simply a matter of chance; it's your choice. You don't have to be lucky in love. You can 'make' love in your marriage.

Just as there are physical rules of the universe-like gravity-there are also rules for love. Just as the right diet and exercise makes you physically healthy; doing the right things with your spouse will make your marriage healthy. It's a simple cause and effect--like cooking with a recipe.

Here's a recipe for rekindling the spark between you and your spouse and 'making' more love in your marriage.

1. Talk Charge. Talk to your spouse about something fun or frivolous 5 times each day for a minimum of 60 seconds.
Do you remember when you used to just talk? Not about who's going to take out the trash, pay the bill, or book the flight, but just talk to be with each other. Most couples don't talk anymore--unless they have something to communicate, a decision to make, or a task to complete. But the most important thing about talking to each other is not communicating; it's connecting. A Talk Charge is a 60 second personal conversation with your spouse about something non logistical.

2. Touch Charge. Touch your spouse in a loving way at least three times each day.
A Touch Charge is not foreplay or a sexual advance. A Touch Charge is purely for the sake of connecting at the moment of the touch.

3. Date Night. Take your spouse on a date once each week.
Here are a couple of important guidelines. On Date Night, don't go to a movie or any other form of entertainment that requires you to face in the same direction. On Date Night, face each other. You are the entertainment. Also, don't invite anyone else or go to anything social. Date Night is for you and your spouse only!

4. Romantic Retreat. Take your spouse away with you for a minimum of three days and two nights.
A Romantic Retreat can be a magical time to take long walks and long baths. It's a time to eat in the middle of the night and make love in the middle of the day.

5. Birthday Party. Plan an elaborate birthday party for your spouse; make them the ONLY guest.
It's reasonable to plan an extravagant party when the invite list includes family and friends. It's unreasonable to do so and then invite only one person. Be unreasonable. It's very romantic.

You cannot build lasting love with one Herculean event. There's no gift you can give, favor you can do, or letter you can write. The only way is to establish the right habits and do them consistently. Make talking, touching, dating, retreating, and partying habits in your marriage and you have a recipe for lasting love.

About the Author
Mort Fertel is the author of 'Marriage Fitness,' a sought after public speaker, and a world-renown marriage coach. You can take his FREE assessment 'How well do you know your spouse?' and get the FREE breakthrough report '7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage' at www.YourMarriageFitness.com. You can also buy your copy of 'Marriage Fitness' at www.YourMarriageFitness.com.

Dear Lady Barber:
In your experience, what is the No. 1 mistake men make when shaving at home? My husband does not shave properly. His skin is dry and rough. I cringe each time he kisses me. His face feels like sandpaper and it hurts me!   What is he doing wrong? Are there benefits of going to a professional barber for a shave? My husband has never had a professional shave.   Is this something he should do to pamper himself? Are there health benefits from having a weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly shaves? Can a professional barber offer instructions and tips during an appointment? Thank you. Lauren, Birmingham, Alabama.

Dear Lauren:
I am sorry for your pain! If your husband has never had a professional shave, buy him a gift certificate to his favorite barbershop or salon. He will love it and so will your face! You have a few questions here so lets get started.

There are a few mistakes men make at home when shaving. The No. 1 mistake is not taking the time (or not having the time) to moisten. The beard needs to be soften using a wash cloth that has been soaked in hot water.   2. Using just soap or just water to shave.   3. Shaving in the shower without using a mirror. 4. Using a razor that has a dull blade (if the razor is not gliding over the beard and pulling the beard, its time to change the blade). Mistake No. 5. Not moisturizing.

Yes, a professional barber can offer instructions and tips on the proper ways to shave and SHOULD!   As soon as the client sits down in the chair, he should be asked by the barber if he has any questions about shaving in general, his beard, skin care, product use etc. If he doesn't have a question, he should be taught any way! Based on my experience with shaving clients, I always told them the number one rule to is moisten, moisten and moisten again using a hot washcloth to soften the beard. Always shave (using shaving cream) going with the grain of their beard. There may be times where a man has a tougher beard and they need to come in from the sides with their razor. Going against the grain can cause cuts, nicks and ingrown hairs.
I
The number one benefit of getting professional shaves: a great way for a man to treat and pamper himself! There are a number of steps involved in shaving. The steps can take anywhere from 15 minutes to a half-hour. In fact, shaving takes just as long if not longer than the haircut itself. Most men will fall asleep. Having the barber apply hot towels to the face reduces stress and the process is extremely relaxing.

Here are the steps involved:

Hot towel applied (perhaps two towels if the beard is heavy. The towel wraps around the face from under the chin).
Application of shaving cream from the dispenser (warm)
Hot Towel (a little more shaving cream)
Shave
Hot Towel
Exfoliating mask applied to forehead, nose and chin
Hot Towel
Moisturizing cream massaged onto the face (an important step if your man has never moisturized    his face prior to having a professional shave)
Hot Towel
Cold Towel
Astringent

The skin looks clean, bright and soft and considered a mini facial (without the squeezing)! What a way to introduce your man in having and incorporating weekly, bi-weekly or monthly shaves/facials as a way to take care of themselves! Why not! We girls do it all of the time! Happy hugging and kissing Lauren!
-Kathleen

Relationship Quiz - Copasetic, Caution, or Conundrum?
by Slade Hartwell

This quiz is based on key areas of communication and intimacy in relationships. The easiest way to take the quiz is to print it, so that you can circle your responses and add up the results. Use the scale below to gauge the health of your relationship.

The questions are designed to assess the likelihood of your relationship being a success in the long term. Take the results seriously, but realize that no quiz can take into account everything that may important to you. Please do not feel completely discouraged if you don't score well. Instead, use what you learn from the questions, and let the results motivate you to identify patterns of negativity and areas needing improvement.

Please answer the following questions using the 3-point scale provided. Answer according to how often the experience occurs in your relationship to either you or your partner. For more honest results, take the test alone before comparing results.

1 = Never
2 = Sometimes
3 = Always

1 2 3 We speak freely to each other and don't hold back feelings to avoid conflict.

1 2 3 We show each other respect even when we argue.

1 2 3 We settle disagreements by finding common ground and end with compromise.

1 2 3 We are equal partners in the relationship.

1 2 3 We have good talks. We share our feelings and opinions.

1 2 3 We have girls/guys night out without jealousy becoming an issue.

1 2 3 When we settle an argument, it stays settled and does not become a recurring problem.

1 2 3 We can joke around with each other without one of us taking it the wrong way or getting upset.

1 2 3 We respect each other's opinions, feelings, and beliefs. We see eye-to-eye on most things.

1 2 3 We like each other's choices in friends.

1 2 3 We have good relationships with each other's families.

1 2 3 Our fights do not escalate to the point of pushing and slapping.

1 2 3 I feel fulfilled and not lonely in the relationship.

1 2 3 We can argue without using threats of divorce or abandonment.

Now add up your points and assess your score:_______

36 to 42 "Copasetic"
If your score is in the 36 to 42 range, your relationship is in great shape. You are very fortunate to be in this category, so keep up the good work. You and your partner are a good match, and the likelihood of long-term success for your relationship is high. Everything may be copasetic now, but don't get complacent. Continue to be open, honest, and involved with each other.

26 to 35 "Caution"
If your score is in the 26 to 35 range, then the caution light is on. It's probably time to take a serious look at the direction your relationship is taking. There are obviously some very positive aspects of your relationship that are worth preserving and reinforcing. Your long-term success is in question now. It's time to work on those respect and communication issues. Take note of the questions that scored 1's and 2's and talk about them.

14 to 25 "Conundrum"
If your score is in the 14 to 25 range, as I'm sure you already know, your relationship is in peril. Your score indicates that there is very little chance for long-term success. Negative patterns of behavior are destroying your relationship and making you and your partner miserable. If you intend to continue the relationship, you must take immediate action Seek outside help if possible. The Internet is a good place to start. Visit a website that specializes in relationship building. Post your questions in a good relationships forum. You will find amazingly helpful people with similar experience and golden advice. Best of luck.

About the Author
Slade Hartwell, Webmaster at http://www.ezromantic.com
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