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1. Prepare a pitch. The question, "So, Sally, what do you do for a living? is bound to come up, so have a ready answer. No need to brag about capturing the company Tidy Break room Award; just state clearly what you do for a living and don't apologize for it!

2. Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves (okay, except for people like you), so ask questions. Come up with a list before you leave the house, i.e., How did you get into that line of work? Where did you go to school? Have you seen the new Brad Pitt movie? And so on.

3. When you fumble, turn the subject to the other person. Whenever you find yourself longing to throw a blanket over your head and crawl off, try saying something like "And what about you?"

4. Listen to what the other person is saying! This is important. Instead of fretting about what you'll say next, still the wheels of your mind and listen. If a man tells you about his weekend on the golf course, and you know absolutely nothing about golf, just ask him what he likes about it, how he got into it, etc.

5. Smile. People respond well to people who smile. No need to grin like an idiot, but a disarming smile will get 'em every time. Smiling conveys friendliness and approachability. Show teeth whenever possible. Avoid looking like a figure at a wax museum by practicing in a mirror before you leave the house.

6. Breathe. Whenever you feel your heart racing, breathe deeply and slowly. If you really start to feel uncomfortable (your face has become so hot you could use it for a wok), excuse yourself and go to the restroom.

7. Compliment the other person. Sincerity is key, so find something you like and mention it. You may be freaked out by the idea of complimenting a man on his soulful eyes, so mention his watch, suit, tie, or even his shoes. No need to go overboard: "Nice shoes, will do it.

8. Stay on top of current events. You don't necessarily want to bring up your stand on politics during a first meeting, but be able to discuss less controversial issues intelligently.

9. Remember the weather! Some people have the "gift of gab, the ability to make strangers feel like they've known them forever. They are fearless about talking about the weather, gas prices, whatever. Shy people worry that talking about mundane things will make them appear stupid. But seemingly dull subjects like the weather affect everybody. People relate to them.

10. Hold your head up. It's the simplest, most effective way to look confident. Good posture, coupled with that fabulous smile of yours, gives you a "winner's vibe. You're guaranteed to be a hit!

Be warned: These tips will not help you if you don't leave the house. It's just too easy to watch a Friends rerun for the umpteenth time instead of meeting people, but I promise you that Prince Charming is never going to climb through your bedroom window.

Talking to strangers can be uncomfortable, but with practice it will surely get easier. If you have a bad night, congratulate yourself for making the effort. When you have a good night, understand that you earned it. Know that countless wonderful nights are on their way to you.

About The Author
Terry MacDonald is the author of How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams (Even if You're Not Rich, Thin, or Beatiful). Visit her website at www.marrysmart.com terry@marrysmart.com

Dating Tips for the Shy Woman
by Terry MacDonald

Dating can be an absolute nightmare for shy people. You want to meet the right person, but you're too scared to do anything about it.

Introductions-sticking out one's hand and looking another person in the eye-can be terrifying for the shy woman. The brain locks up as you scramble to think of something relevant to say. You fall apart as soon as you're asked what you do for a living. You stammer. The heat rises in your face and under your arms. You're suddenly incapable of forming a grammatical sentence. You think to yourself, "Why would anyone care about me? I'm really not that interesting!"

Fear not. Many shy people have succeeded in meeting new people and forming lasting, happy relationships. With a little practice, you can too. Here are some tips for taming your social terror.

Women & Love : Finding True Love While Staying True to Yourself: The Eight Make-Or-Break Experiences in Women's Lives
by Mira Kirshenbaum
"Kirshenbaum believes that despite the embitterment caused by hurtful or unsuccessful love experiences, women should never settle for less than the best in their relationships."

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond
by Patricia Evans
"Is your happiness with someone you love continually threatened by interactions that continually undermine your self-esteem? Do you feel trapped in a relationship that keeps decaying in a downward spiral of overt or passive-aggressive abuse? If so, this book could be your life raft."

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
by Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo
"You really like this guy, but he's giving mixed messages...Stop kidding yourself, let go and look for someone else who will be."

How to Survive Your Husband's Midlife Crisis: Strategies and Stories from the Midlife Wives Club
by Gay Courter, Pat Gaudette
Written by wives and experts on recognizing the symptoms; coping with the threat of infidelity; handling bad behavior, such as thrill-seeking, financial irresponsibility, or substance abuse; identifying underlying problems; deciding how or if to stick it out; and protecting your kids from the fallout.

Dear Kathleen:
I have been dating a man that I absolutely adore. He has the heart of gold. But, there is one problem. He has the hairiest back. It really bothers me and I want him to either shave it or wax it? How do I tell him? Ava, Newark, NJ.

Dear Ava:
Ooooooh…this is a tough one. You don't say how long you've been dating this man, and telling him needs to be handled very gently because he may not see it as a problem. Ask yourself how close you really are to this man, if you are having difficulty suggesting he have his back waxed in the first place. Also think about how you would feel if the tables were turned.

Excessive hair can be a turn-off, even something as innocent as a few nose hairs. I had a blind date a few weeks ago with a man who had nose hairs. I couldn't focus on anything he was saying, because I fixated on them! How could someone go out with "Lady Barber and not trim their nose hairs! Ugh!

Personally, I don't care for hairy backs either or excessive hair in any manner. If the hair is dark, it reminds me of a swarm of bees on a man's back. However, some women look at a hairy man as being incredibly masculine and virile and most would prefer lots of hair to no hair at all. They find those smooth body boys not masculine enough. Many women like the idea of a more manly man as opposed to a finely crafted feminine sense of what manhood should represent. How awful is it when you rub his shoulders and you hear that sound as if you are rubbing nylon between your fingertips?

I don't recommend shaving. The hair will grow back quickly and itch. Waxing is the best bet. The hair grows back softer and it's relatively inexpensive.

I have a friend who is going through a divorce. He just had his back waxed for the first time in his life. He felt as if he was shedding old skin and thoroughly loved the feel of clean, smooth, baby soft skin. However, he did feel discomfort during the actual waxing. It's no different when we have our bikini area waxed. It's an extremely painful process, however the results last for at least 6 weeks.

Just plant the seed of suggestion without making a huge deal about it. Remember Ava, even diamonds with flaws can be very valuable!

My best,
Kathleen

Send your stories or questions to Kathleen at Ladybarber@yourlifemagazine.com