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February, 2005
by Allie Ochs

The American Poet Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "What lies behind us and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.  Little did he know that his quote would sum up the past, present and future of women. He also didn't know that women would emerge as powerful pillars of society. It wasn't until the 20th century that American women were allowed to vote and it took even longer until they could say no to sex in their marriages. What lies behind us is the history of women, who paved the way to liberation.

What lies before us is the most meaningful time ever for women. What lies within us is the power to continue this feminine revolution. The once considered submissive female gender is rising to the top. Today women have assumed the roles of CEOs, litigation lawyers and senators. Women earn four out of every 10 law degrees and almost that many medical degrees. They have become activists against violence and proponents of human rights. Their worth has become defined by their accomplishments and ability to make a difference.

Today women seek validation as complete human beings. Along the way they have learned to master remote controls, change tires and file income tax returns. They know how to shop for bargains and still splurge on Godiva chocolates. They cry over romantic movies and get a thrill from the X-files. They are touched by the sight of babies and outraged at violence. When making love they like to be on the top, in charge of their own fulfillment.

Yet, taxis still stop for us, men still open the doors for us and firefighters will rescue us first. We don't have to pay when we go on dates. We can go after what we want without being afraid to ask for help. We can say what we mean, without being mean when we say it. We can walk in the shoes of others, without losing direction. Best of all, we know how to solve our problems by simply eating chocolate.

There are more fashion stores for women than there are for men. Entire cosmetic departments, loaded with stuff to make us look and smell pretty, are created just for us. Our underwear, enriched with lace and rhinestones, is fortified with silicone inserts and airlifts. It doesn't get any better than that. Our options and power are endless and here is some data to support that:

    * By 2010, women are expected to control $1 trillion, or 60 percent, of the country's wealth - BusinessWeek and Gallup.
    * Women purchase or influence the purchase of 80 percent of all consumer goods.

This is just the beginning! On a competence level we have what it takes to grab the world by the tail. Women are natural at multi-tasking. They talk on the phone, while cooking dinner, shave their legs while applying eye-makeup and run a corporation while managing a household. Women have compassion like no other species and never tire of listening to problems. They have the courage to find solutions when others give up. Equipped with great intuition they know right from wrong without consulting an expert.

Women are great communicators connecting easily with people. They are resilient in the face of adversity and are networking pros reaching out for support. Instead of hoarding information, women freely share with others. They are emotionally tuned-in and have the gift of expressing it.

Women have the courage to be honest and outspoken. When dealing with stress, women can have a pedicure or go shopping. Best of all, women don't need to compete with men to be successful. They can stand on their own, or be united to reach goals. Femininity is personal power and at no other time in history has society been so touched by the power of women.

While many women may still be judged by the shape of their legs, corporations are zooming in on feminine traits. With a new female leadership style emerging, women are hired into positions of power because of their skills and femininity. Obviously, many companies believe that the best man for the job is still a woman. Society has finally concluded that the lack of female energy is the reason for most problems in our world.

Women have what it takes to create a more peaceful world of human equality. Our time has come to capitalize on our feminine traits and the warmth of our hearts to rock the world. No matter what background, religion or race we come from, we don't need to look outside for validation. Our strength lies within. The world needs us. It needs our courage to forge ahead, our intuition to discern, our passion for humanity and our wisdom to see the big picture. Women must stand united in their feminine spirit to bring about global changes. There is nothing quite like women with a purpose, who rise to the occasion.

About The Author
Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert Speaker, Coach and Author of: Are You Fit To Love? www.fit2love.com
Personal Responsibility-Choosing a Better Way
by Debra Betterly, Ph.D., CLC

Any negativity that others (who we perceived as older and wiser than ourselves) led us to believe about ourselves can be quite debilitating to our growth and self-esteem when we are young. But, remaining stuck in these beliefs can be even worse.

Are you, or anyone you know, still pointing to dysfunction from your childhood as the main culprit for your problems and the struggles you have today? Do you still believe that you are not worthy of love from yourself or others? Do you hear yourself complaining to yourself or out loud that "if only he (or she) would have paid more attention to me, I'd be happier", or, "I take after my dad, that's why I can't get my act together or control my temper", or "I take after my mom, that's why I've never been able to stand up for myself", etc… When we are young and vulnerable, we easily absorb and adopt the opinions of others about ourselves and our lives.

Whether we've been labeled as lazy, incompetent, a spend thrift, or scatter brained, these were other peoples perceptions based on their own fears that really had nothing to do with us! Yet, we believed them, and many people still act out these roles as adults, sometimes without even realizing it. However, as adults, we can choose, through awareness and taking personal responsibility, to no longer be the subjects of someone else's insecurities. We can decide who we are and who we want to be and choose to be that!

It is often easier to stay in "victim mode  and blame others or society for making our lives miserable, or remain in a situation we know is not right for us simply because it is familiar and within our comfort zone. When we perceive others as being wrong, it keeps


















us in pain because we are so attached to how their actions make us feel bad and we don't have to take responsibility for ourselves! It is only when we can detach ourselves from the perceived thoughts and actions of others and take full responsibility for ourselves that we can finally find the peace and happiness we deserve.

Our life is ultimately what WE choose it to be. In my life coaching practice, I am frequently helping clients turn blame into personal responsibility by seeing that in reality everyone grew up with some dysfunction and that it is actually an important part of our growth! By accepting the humanness of others, we can use these past experiences to make our current life more valuable and recognize that there is no need to carry these past wounds into the present. Healing occurs in the present, not the past.

When I ask my client, "What would love do?  it changes their perspective from one of holding on to a grievance or hated role for fear of taking responsibility, to forgiveness of self and others. They can then explore their "shadow  selves and recognize lovingly how this perceived negativity has served them, allowing them to come to respect the gifts they were given through these old beliefs.

For example, if we weren't conditioned by others to be people pleasers, how would we learn the lesson of setting boundaries and speaking our truth? If we never knew what it felt like to be mistreated by others, how would we know forgiveness? If we had never been a victim, how would we come to know true compassion for others? If we never believed other peoples ideas about our worthiness, what reason would we have to seek out the real truth about ourselves? What is your story? Fill in the blanks, "If I never___________, how would I __________________?  When we choose to take responsibility for who we are and who we choose to be, we move into a position of power and we can become constructive in creating positive change and a happier life.

About the Author
Debra has been coaching and transforming clients for three years. Her Spirit, Mind, Body approach keeps the whole person in mind and offers a spiritual edge leading clients to awaken their power within to create their best life. Her busisness, Amazing Journey Personal and Transformational Coaching Services, has the motto "Grow your dreams and create your best life through a well body, strong mind and revived spirit."


by Fran Briggs

Did you know that many of us are just as uncomfortable when a stranger us asks us for "some change" as we are when we ask ourselves for change?

Human Beings are creatures of habit and the familiar.  We have a propensity to engage in that which is predictable and involves minimal risks.  The very thought of change can generate feelings of unease and resistance.

For many, change represents a disturbance of their status quo.  But status quo represents a plateau state of existence.  Why not disturb it?  Why not move from stagnation, to "Great!" "Awesome!" "Growing!"  "Reaping!"

Look at your life today.  Do you see where improvements can be made?  Transform this vision into the motivation needed to take action. Commit to making decisions based on personal and spiritual growth. Approach change as opportunity to enhance your life and you will.

When we choose not to change, we set ourselves up for lethargy, boredom and a life which lacks ambition.  It doesn't take a lot of effort to create change. It only takes unshakable faith, an undaunting belief in self and a commitment to do or be something different.

All of us have the ability to capitalize with change.  It is our destiny to grow mentally, physically, professionally, personally, financially, intellectually, socially, emotionally and spiritually. Envision change as an empowering opportunity - because it is. Embrace it with optimism and enthusiasm.  In doing so, you'll immediately position yourself to receive more than you've ever imagined.

About the Author
Fran Briggs is a "motivational speaker of the inspirational kind." She speaks to men, women and children from all backgrounds and specializes in maximizing human potential. Ms. Briggs can be reached at www.franbriggs.com
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Personal Responsibility-Choosing a Better Way
by Debra Betterly, Ph.D., CLC

Can you spare some change?  by Fran Briggs

Top 10 Ways to Release the Past and Leap into an Exciting Future
by Deborah Ager

What You Give Is What You Get!
by Kenia Morales
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